**EN below**
For mange år siden var jeg til et foredrag med et par, der havde et såkaldt tantrisk ægteskab.
Jeg tror på, at vi altid kan tage noget med os.
Uanset om vi mener, det vi hører, er gammel vin på nye flasker (awesome, så fik vi måske lige genopfrisket noget, som kunne være gavnligt, vi havde glemt alt om).
Eller det kan være et område, hvor vi i forvejen føler os velbevandret og en anden undervisers vinkel, er udslagsgivende og vi tager noget vigtigt med os. Nogle gange er det én sætning, der giver så stor genklang, at det føles helt sandt for os, så det bliver hos os.
Derfor sad jeg til dette foredrag og tænkte "jeg er her for en grund, så hvad er det, jeg skal tage med mig" og så blev det tydeligt!
Hr. Mand fortalte, at hans kvinde altid malede sine tånegle med alverdens neglelak og små blomster eller mønstre i lakken. Hun kunne godt lide at pynte sig, men han var egentlig ret uinteresseret i kvindens tånegle.
Fordi han kendte sin kvinde indgående gennem mange år, hendes vaner, adfærd og personlighed, så registrerede han derimod de perioder, hvor hun ikke malede sine tånegle, fordi det var et symbol på, at hun var ude af balance, presset og i underskud. Og fra det sted af viden om hendes adfærd passede han ekstra på hende i de perioder, så hun kom til hægterne igen.
Den gik direkte ind - dels rørte det mig meget, at man kunne have en partner, som var i stand til at støtte og drage omsorg, uden at hun behøvede at bede tydeligt om hjælp.
At man som partner kunne være så betænksom, fordi vi kommunikerer ordløst med
vores vaner, der fortæller om vi er i overskud, balance, underskud.
Jeg har det på samme måde. Det første der forsvinder, når jeg er i underskud, er min selvpleje og næring. Jeg kommer til at nedprioritere de ting, der fylder mig op og giver mening og energi. Det er alt fra dybe, indre tiltag og udvikling, men også de overfladiske såsom at lægge neglelak på tåneglene. Jeg glemmer at bede om hjælp og det er ganske menneskeligt, de fleste af os kender det.
Det er rart og dejligt med tydelig kommunikation.
Men måske er der nogen i din omgangskreds, hvor du oplever en adfærdsændring for tiden, som handler om, de er presset og glemmer at række ud. Hvordan ville du kunne tilbyde din hjælp? Måske i mindre eller større grad afhængig af din egen energibalance.
ENGLISH
Many years ago I attended a lecture with a couple who had a so-called tantric marriage. I believe there is always a take-away. Whether or not we evaluate what we're hearing as old wine in a new bottle (awesome, maybe you just refreshed old knowledge, which could be beneficial and we forgot all about).
Or it can be an area where we already feel well-versed and another teacher's angle is different and we take something important with us. Sometimes it is merely one sentence which resonates completely so it feels absolutely true to us.
Hence, I contemplated during this lecture "I'm here for a reason, what do I need to take with me" and then it became clear!
The man explained that his wife always painted her toenails with all kinds of nail polish including small flowers or patterns on top of the polish. She liked to show the result, but he was pretty uninterested in her toenails.
However, because he knew his woman intimately over many years, her habits, behaviour and personality, he instead registered the periods when she did not paint her toenails.
To him, it was symbolic that she was out of balance, stressed and overloaded. From that place of knowledge of her behaviour, he took extra care of her during those periods until she regained her energy.
It touched me a lot that she had a partner, who was able to support and show care, without her having to ask clearly for help. The partner acted so considerate because we as humans communicate wordlessly with our habits, which tell us whether we are out of balance and struggling.
I feel the same way.
The first thing that disappears when I'm out of balance, is my ability to show self-care. I tend to deprioritize the things that fill me up and provide meaningfulness and energy.
This could be deep, internal acts but also the superficial ones such as putting nail polish on the toenails. I forget to ask for help and it's quite human, most of us are familiar with this behaviour.
It is nice to have clear communication.
But maybe there is someone in your circle of friends/relatives where you are experiencing a behavioural change at the moment, which could be a sign that they are under pressure and forget to reach out.
How would you be able to offer your help even in a small scale? Your help is depending on your own energy balance.
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